, , , , , , , , , , , ,

The almost youngest participant in the tour and already three victories and the green Jersey. Sagan is subject to lot of rumors: a notorious drinker, daddy’s boy and already suspected that he was somehow doped himself.
According to the newspaper l’Equipe, always ready to stalk a non-french winner, after Wednesday’s victory in Boulogne traces of homologous blood transfusion were found. Makes one think about Vinokourov removed from the Tour 2007 after drank the blood of his old .

– You performance was remarkable but after Wednesday there was a clear decline and that is exactly the pattern that occurs when homologous doping is taken.

-Sagan: Don’t you dare to think I’m drinking my father’s blood. Admittedly at the departure in Orchies I drank half a pint of red beet juice but that is still a dope that is not officially listed . The whole platoon had been cycling on the red beet.

Yet, remarkable that Mr. your father was always in your area.

-Sagan: Well my dad’s a caregiver, a help and support. Moreover, the brief affair he had with Françoise Sagan, my mother, did him no good. Pa is suffering from separation anxiety.

– Is it Sagan that learned you to speak italian ?

– Sagan, No. I have learned with the Italian Panini stickers and from African drug dealers in Naples with whom I negotiated with for her cocaine supply. What moreover led to her total destruction and our return to Slovakia .

– The situation was apparently so bad that you had to sell your racing bike, a De Rosa, and to lend the scooter of your half-sister to ride and win the tour of Slovakia .

– Sagan: That is correct, but it was a triporteur and on condition I first delivered all orders . In this respect, the Slovak cycling rules are as leaky as a sieve, I found quite a few loopholes and run though back gardens.

– That might be why you became so handy on the bike. You will provide us more stunts like the flip-flop of Forrest Gump?

-Well I would like to perform a spectacular slide right on the finish. Your fellow countryman Vansummeren fell four holes in his pants before finishing with all of his butts exposed…. in I’m a bit jealous.

-You go for the troulotte, the ranking of the most beautiful fall?

-Sagan: You bet, upon arrival in Cape d’Agde I want to come across the finish line without any pants and continue the stage to the naturist beach …..