An interview with Balotelli, hard to realise….unless you enter the room in a chat session with his fans. Maybe we had too much in common not to leave the room and get private.

-An Ghanese with an Italian name, a child prodigy with emphasis on the last  and- don”t kick me- the target of home and garden racism in the stands and beyond. Let me say that you are as much a genius as you are unpredictable? In apology I am a West-Flemish guy with a Dutch name and my whole youth I was the butt of jokes for my familyname (six, obvious). Oddly enough, I enjoy a reputation for being brilliant but unpredictable.

-Join the club … we are of course or born to early or in the wrong world. As an Afghani born in Sicily with parents who didn’t have the proverbial nail to scratch their asses, you are born to rebel. Moreover, I was born with a condition that kept me in diapers till the age of seven. My intestines were already in a knot while in my mothers  womb. Thankfully mine moved to the north. We went to Brescia where the local sanitaria allocated me during the week with a host family that disposed of a proper bathroom. Long live the Balotelli family, although:  I was black and now with Jewish foster parents. The only thing missing was that I mopped by Brescia in a tutu or let my mustache grow. My childhood was anything but a party, except that I quickly discovered that I could handle a ball.

-As a child player you were bought by Inter Milan for 250,000 euros after Barca didn’t take you. Inter was hell and heaven. Disciplinary control measures, accused of bad behavior and a hard time with Maurinho.

– Inter itself was fantastic but privately it was still a disaster. I was stalked by my biological parents that started to smell money and glory and on paper I was still a Ghanese since the Balotelli had not adopted me. I had to wait until the  age of eighteenth before I could claim Italian nationality. I finally played my first league and the whole world was watching me

-And the racist tifosi of Juventus ….

– Yes and that was just too much. I could cope with the loads of bananas targeted at me, I could have started an import-export business but the fists under the armpit gestures , accompanied by the tune of a swinging safari were too much. I began aloof, no longer appeared on the training. Moreover, I became embroiled in situations totally insane. Accused of breaking into a woman’s prison, fornication at a boys’ school and possession of something too much money while I became involved in a car accident. Try to explain you wanted to see your girlfriend after visiting hours, made an emergency stop because you had to pee urgently and that you simply are rich. In the latter case, it is a crime in Italy to keep your own money on yourself and not at the bank that invests in totally worthless hedge funds. I do not know about you, Gerrit, are we born in the wrong  world or born too early?

– Certainly too early if you grant a beggar on the street 2000 Euro, that man becomes unemployed for fourteen days …

-Indeed, but don’t you think we are all overpaid . I gain a lot as a football star but the duty is as high as the pay. If you steel someones youth  don’t expect  don’t expect him to behave as an adult in all situations , hence the reputation that I’m unpredictable … for those who only swear by supply and demand.

– One last question,  against Germany it was striking that each Feldwebel that came in your area got a yellow or at least half a yellow card . How often have you knocked yourself before you shin was hit.

– Not at all, ten minutes before the end when I  got the cramp. That was just bad & good luck. I had collected a yellow card. Buffon and Pirlo got  some breathing space before we deployed the final solution and I was protecting myself against….myself.

-Thank you for this interview

-The pleasure was mine